Today i was asked the age old question ! Do bears poop in the woods ? After many years of study .I have seen or step in a few of them .

My studies include facts .plus samples of bear poop . All documented as real smelly and coated with red pepper spray .Oh  yes!  a few little silver bells  

One time i left 5 -50# bags of dog food in the back of my truck after a long trip to town.  figureing that i could haul them to cabin in the morning ,wrong ! Next morninmg after the bears had eaten their fill they pulled out the rear window of my truck where there was a package of donuts –My bad , Now we all know better than to feed bears ? Right !

Their thank you for dog food . Plus  fresh donuts. Was a big pile of bear poop in my front seat .First study of bears dont poop in the woods .

One early morning at my cabin after a quick breakfast .We left to watch moose .later the day we came back to find that bears had broken into the window of cabin .breaking up counter tops and cupboards . Cleaning out all the shelfs of all goodies. Sampling every thing what was good ,The rest they  pee’d on .one great big mess !

I think the adkins diet fad was in full swing that year ,After a free breakfast . It waas time to see where there was a good place to sleep.Up stairs they found all my down sleeping bags ripped them up in middle of floor .There they slept till they could hear us comeing home {I asumed }Their thank you for free meal ,lodgeing was a number of big piles of poop in ther middle of the beds .2nd study of the bowel movements of the wild alaskan bears.

Walking out of the mountains after a long hike for Dall sheep ,It was to dark to get back to trail head . So i pitched my tent .Next morning Iam up with the sun .Down to lake for well needed bath {after hikeing for 4 days after sheep one can be a little ripe .}I finished my cold bath in the lake .Walking back to tent for fresh cloths .too late ! A  black bear had torn down my tent .pooping all over every thing. even my clean cloths.  3rd study of poop habits of bears-Long story short .the bear is now a rug in my den that will teach him to mess with me .It may be to much for some one to read this .I did shoot the bear while in the nude .real meanings of bear hunting !

So after many years of studies of bear poop and bowel movemnet s .I found that bears dont use charmin toilet paper as we see on tv .They will eat any thing and what they cant eat they– poop on ! When they have a sleep over at a local cabin ,They feel to home there. After a pillow fight or two after sleeping for hours  they wake up to poop all over and leave {i never caught these guys –I have seen thier poop many times } these guys are baiting me for next raid of my cabin .I figure that if i was to find a bear den. I would show them that i can party just like them in their homes.

In the height of my studies others were becomeing interested in my stuies also .Many started their own studies .One thing we had in common was the same experances .So studies like these had to be scienific .I wrote theasus on the subject .Not haveing a degree in animal science . Iwas at a lost .Only to be questioned by others so called experts of animal biology.{I would like to think they  full of poop !

One day I was reading anchorage news paper .Head line read “Do bear do it in the woods ?”–No they dont !  One of the so called experts and rivel poop studiers {Fish and game } Had proven to the world what i had been trying to for years .The one thing i didnt have were pictures to show proof of bear bowel movements .The officer had  pictures of a black bear cub that had fallin into an out house .Two beady eyes and a sh–t eating grin had .proved that it was a bear

Now when reading news papers we asume that reporters are right and tell the truth at all times ?a right ! Believe what you may .I still believe that bears dont poop in the woods ,Well! when was the last time you stepped into a fresh pile on the trail to your deer stand ?. Or seen how close they come to your camp at night .only to leave a fresh pile for you to step into bear footed on a late night run to the bushes for you to find ?

If so i dare you to prove me wrong !

My studies still go on .I will prove to the world that bears dont poop in the woods My story will continue .I would like to thank my freinds goldilocks and her freinds for helping me all these years in my studies .the names of the bears have been changed to protect from the extintion of species. To help solve globel warming issues ,A fresh steamy pile of bear poop does put off a lot of  steam .

As you read this please remember the song –Dont go out into the woods tonight !